True Strength and Stuffed Chicks
by Teapartyonthemoon
Summary: Kaoru discovers he has more in common with the younger Haninozuka brother than he could have imagined.


**Hi everyone and welcome to my first fanfic! As far as I know this is the only Chika/Kaoru fic ever. Chika doesn't get nearly enough love, so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or and of its characters**

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Kaoru Hitachiin knocked on Hunny's front door, wiping away the tears forming in his eyes as he did so. He felt so weak, showing up at the older boy's doorstep for the third time in as many weeks, but he didn't know where else to go. Hunny's home had become a sanctuary, somewhere Kaoru could go when he couldn't stand being around his twin. The red haired boy had come to enjoy being able to sit with his blonde friend and talk about the latest problems between him and Hikaru.

So he was surprised, and a little bit disappointed, when the door opened to reveal Chika. Kaoru struggled to compose himself. Crying in front of Hunny was one thing, but Chika was strong. Chika would think he was pathetic for sniveling over a little fight with his brother. Kaoru didn't want to be looked down upon, especially by a middle schooler.

The younger boy eyed Kaoru coolly. "What brings you here, Hitachiin-senpai?" he asked, although the reason was fairly obvious. Chika had seen his older brother consoling the weeping redhead on more than one occasion.

"I, um, is Hunny-senpai here?" Kaoru stammered.

"Sorry, no. He's gone to visit Takashi. He left barely an hour ago, so I don't think he'll be back any time soon." Then, seeing the other's crestfallen face, Chika added, "But you're welcome to wait here if you want. I'm sure Mitsukuni wouldn't mind you being in his room while he's not there."

Kaoru hesitated. He wasn't really sure how he felt about being in Hunny's home without him. And agreeing to stay would make him seem desperate. But at the same time, he didn't want to go back home and face Hikaru. Slowly, he nodded. Chika stepped back from the doorway to allow Kaoru to enter, then led him to Hunny's room. Kaoru smiled his thanks to the other boy, who gave him a slight nod in return before leaving for his own room. At first, Kaoru perched himself on the edge of Hunny's bed. However, as the hours passed without any sign of the blonde boy, Kaoru moved into progressively more comfortable positions until he was curled up on the bed, snuggling one of Hunny's numerous stuffed animals.

Kaoru thought back to the argument with his brother. There hadn't been anything especially bad about this fight. In fact, it was quickly becoming a standard occurrence in the Hitachiin household. That was the part that hurt the most. The fact that no matter how much they fought or how many times Kaoru left, Hikaru couldn't conceive that he had done anything wrong. And despite the fact that Hikaru refused to acknowledge his fault, Kaoru always crawled back in the hope that things would be different the next time. In the hope that Hikaru would begin to take notice of him again, would want to spend time with him again. Kaoru sighed. When had it gotten so bad? As he lay on Hunny's bed, trying to pick out the exact moment that things had begun to change, Kaoru's sadness gave way to exhaustion.

He didn't realize he had drifted asleep until a door creaking open roused him from his dreams. At first, through his sleep-bleary eyes, Kaoru thought it was Hunny entering the room. As his vision cleared, he realized it was Chika.

"It seems that Mitsukuni has decided to spend the night at Takashi's. He does that sometimes. Which is good for me. I mean, any night that I don't get woken up by that freak eating cake is a good night."

"So, he's not coming back?" Kaoru asked, his voice still heavy with sleep.

"It would appear not." Kaoru nodded his head sadly. "I'm not going to force you to leave if you don't want to," Chika added, "I just didn't want you waiting up all night for him.

"Oh, um, thanks." Kaoru was slightly surprised that Chika had bothered to tell him.

"Mhm," Chika nodded his acknowledgment of the thanks.

The two looked at each other in silence, unsure of how to continue the conversation. Kaoru pulled at a loose thread on the sleeve of his shirt, and Chika shifted his feet uneasily. Finally, just as Kaoru thought it was becoming too uncomfortable to bear, Chika spoke up.

"We're a lot alike, you know," the younger boy said, looking down at his feet. Kaoru said nothing, and eventually Chika glanced up and saw the questioning look in the redhead's eyes. "Me and you, I mean."

"How so?" Personally, Kaoru could not think of two people who were any less similar.

"Well, there are lots of ways," Chika began, but he seemed reluctant to continue.

"Do you want to sit down?" Kaoru asked, trying to make the other boy less uncomfortable. He was curious to know how Chika thought them to be similar, because he certainly couldn't think of anything. Chika nodded slightly and took a seat, cross-legged on the bed across from Kaoru. Unconsciously, his hand reached out and gently touched the soft yellow fuzz of a chick stuffed animal sitting next to him on the bed. Kaoru gestured at him to continue.

"First of all, we're the better brothers. We're stronger. Maybe in different ways, but we are."

"Stronger? But Hunny-senpai is a certifiable weapon of mass destruction. How could you be stronger than that?" Chika grimaced at the comment, but continued.

"Not strong like that. I mean on the inside. We've both had to give up on things that our brothers would never be able to comprehend going without. We know the meaning of sacrifice, of control. Our brothers are selfish. They-" Chika's voice was rising in pitch, becoming more fervent. Kaoru interrupted what he could see was going to turn into quite a rant.

"Hikaru isn't selfish. He just-" But now it was Chika's turn to interrupt.

"Just what? Just leaves you crying by yourself? Just makes you feel like you can't sleep in your own home? Just ditches you for some girl you've only just gotten to know?" Chika got louder and louder, until he was nearly screaming at the redhead across from him. Kaoru cringed. He couldn't argue with those questions; they were true after all. But still, Hikaru was his brother; he couldn't let people talk about him like that. Matching Chika's volume, he replied.

"You seem to know all about sacrifice. Tell me, when in your life have you ever had to give up what you love?" Immediately, Chika clammed up, refusing to speak. Kaoru allowed himself a smug grin, thinking he had won this argument. A closer look at the middle schooler caused the smile to drop right off his face.

The younger boy's face had gone bright red. His mouth was scrunched up tight, trying to keep from wobbling, and tears pricked in the corners of his eyes. The hand that had been absentmindedly stroking the chick now held it in a death grip, and Kaoru couldn't quite tell if he was trying to draw strength from the toy or maim it.

"H-hey, what's the matter?" Kaoru asked in a softer tone. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that had set Chika off, but now he regretted yelling at the boy. Again, Chika didn't speak, merely shaking his head. He seemed determined not to cry, but was fighting a losing battle. Kaoru tried again, saying, "I'm sorry. Please, what's wrong?" Chika hugged the chick to his chest and buried his face in it. He mumbled a reply, but it was lost amid the yellow fluff. Kaoru leaned a little closer, trying to catch the teary boy's words. "I'm sorry, what was that?" Chika raised his head slightly and replied again. He spoke softly, so that Kaoru could barely pick up what he was saying.

"Every day. Every single day, I'm trying to be strong and not give in to the temptation. And then there goes Mitsukuni, not even making the slightest bit of effort. It doesn't matter for him though. He's such a great martial artist that no one would ever doubt his strength. It's different for me though. I have to prove my strength. So I can't have the things that Mitsukuni does, no matter how much I want them. I have to reject every cute thing that comes my way, a-and it kills me," Chika, who had managed to hold himself together until the end, sniffled and laughed bitterly. The tears that had been welling in the boy's eyes began to slide down his cheeks.

Kaoru, although slightly confused by Chika's reply, had managed to catch the gist of the issue. The matter of "cute" things didn't seem like a big deal to the older boy, but he could tell it was causing the younger a considerable amount of pain. He slid closer again, and moved to wipe away some of the younger boy's tears. Chika didn't jerk away from the touch, but looked down slightly, shamefaced. Kaoru marveled at how different this Chika was to the one he had seen before. The only times he had seen the younger Haninozuka was when he was challenging Hunny to a fight, or denouncing him as an alien, or, on the occasions when Kaoru had been at Hunny's house, skirting through the hallways to avoid him. This Chika was a vulnerable one. One who loved cute things as much as his brother. And one who hated both of those facts.

"You know," Kaoru began carefully, "Someone once said that true strength is being able to be yourself and do the things that make you happy no matter what."

"That person was full of crap," Chika replied, but he showed the tiniest hint of a smile. "Strength is being able to resist the things you want, no matter how hard it is. It's just…"

Kaoru looked at the boy quizzically. "Just what?"

"I don't want to be strong anymore. I can't do it." The boy was shaking slightly, his body wracked with sobs. Kaoru panicked. In recent times, he had spent less time comforting than he had being comforted himself. He wasn't quite sure how to handle the crying mess in front of him. Whenever Kaoru had come to Hunny, the small blonde boy had sat with him and talked until he felt better. But in this situation, it seemed like the more they talked, the worse Chika became. Not knowing what else to do, Kaoru leaned over and wrapped the younger boy in a tight embrace. After momentarily recoiling in shock, Chika grabbed the front of the redheaded boy's shirt and held tight, burying his face in the soft fabric. Kaoru rubbed his back slowly and murmured whatever comforting words came to mind.

"Hey, it's alright. You're okay, you're going to be okay." He repeated these simple phrases over and over, unsure if they were actually making things any better. Gradually, the sobbing became less violent, until only an occasional whimper escaped the younger boy. Kaoru stroked the boy's hair, still speaking softly in what he hoped were comforting tones.

"You okay now?" Kaoru asked. When he received no answer, he leaned the other boy's face toward his, and realized that Chika had fallen asleep, still clutching his shirt. Kaoru smiled softly as he tried- and failed- to disengage his clothing from the boy's fingers. Realizing that he would be unable to regain possession of his shirt, Kaoru took Chika in his arms again and, moving slowly so as not to wake the boy, shifted awkwardly until he was lying on his back with Chika resting on his chest. The redhead pushed the hair away from Chika's eyes and studied the sleeping, tearstained face. Despite the red, puffy eyelids and obvious exhaustion, Kaoru noted that the peaceful expression Chika wore was a vast improvement over his usual scowl.

Kaoru glanced at the clock on Hunny's bedside table, and was surprised to see that it was nearly two in the morning. He wasn't sure what time Chika had woken him, but at least a couple hours had passed since then, and Kaoru found himself once again being taken over by sleep.

The next morning, a very confused Hunny stood in the doorway of his bedroom, trying to come up with a series of events that could possibly lead to his younger brother and one of his closest friends sleeping together in his bed.

It was easy enough to guess that Kaoru had had another falling out with his twin. But Chika was in the habit of giving his brother's room a wide berth, and Hunny couldn't see any circumstances that would convince his younger brother to actually go inside it.

Nonetheless, seeing Chika nestled into Kaoru's chest and snuggling a stuffed chick brought a wide smile to the small boy's face. He closed the door quietly, trying not to disturb the two sleepers. He looked down at the pink bunny in his hands.

"C'mon Usa-chan, let's go get some cake."

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**So, thoughts? I kind of really liked the idea when it came to me but I'm not sure how well I executed it. Did you love it? Hate it? Have any ideas on how to make it better? Any feedback would be super helpful and appreciated! Thanks for reading ^-^**


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